# orderedItems[].object.content
Teaching the dogs the speaking buttons and we’re doing a lot of accidental presses of “Outside” then standing on the porch mystified.

#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday

# orderedItems[].object.contentMap.en
Teaching the dogs the speaking buttons and we’re doing a lot of accidental presses of “Outside” then standing on the porch mystified.

#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday

# orderedItems[].object.content
And off we go, sounding murdered again

#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday

# orderedItems[].object.contentMap.en
And off we go, sounding murdered again

#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday

# orderedItems[].object.content
Dear DoorDash: when i search for “pot pie” i expect to get restaurants with pot pies, not restaurants with no pot pies.

# orderedItems[].object.contentMap.en
Dear DoorDash: when i search for “pot pie” i expect to get restaurants with pot pies, not restaurants with no pot pies.

# orderedItems[].object.content
Do you miss RSS feeds? If you’re an Apple person, I endorse NetNewsWire, which has been really easy to use and has helped me reconnect with so many things important to me.

# orderedItems[].object.contentMap.en
Do you miss RSS feeds? If you’re an Apple person, I endorse NetNewsWire, which has been really easy to use and has helped me reconnect with so many things important to me.

# orderedItems[].object.content
What up, Stu? You already had a hug

#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday

# orderedItems[].object.contentMap.en
What up, Stu? You already had a hug

#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday

# orderedItems[].object.content
Please stop eating the mud.

#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday

# orderedItems[].object.contentMap.en
Please stop eating the mud.

#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday

# orderedItems[].object.content
Me: we finally have a fence so I don’t have to go out with the dogs!
The dogs: uh you have to come walk the property line with us or we’re not going out
Me: 🤦🏻‍♀️

#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday

# orderedItems[].object.contentMap.en
Me: we finally have a fence so I don’t have to go out with the dogs!
The dogs: uh you have to come walk the property line with us or we’re not going out
Me: 🤦🏻‍♀️

#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday

# orderedItems[].object.content
Achievement unlocked: be the kind of friend that gets texts like “Lady - did you send me a pack of jingle bells from
Amazon?”

I did not. But I’m glad you think I would. It’ll make the banana duck all the more surprising.

# orderedItems[].object.contentMap.en
Achievement unlocked: be the kind of friend that gets texts like “Lady - did you send me a pack of jingle bells from
Amazon?”

I did not. But I’m glad you think I would. It’ll make the banana duck all the more surprising.

# orderedItems[].object.content
Who put peanut butter on the wall?

#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday

# orderedItems[].object.contentMap.en
Who put peanut butter on the wall?

#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday

# orderedItems[].object.content
Zoë just licked the bag balm on my leg, once again learning that “it’s nontoxic! That means you can eat it!” doesn’t mean that you should eat it

# orderedItems[].object.contentMap.en
Zoë just licked the bag balm on my leg, once again learning that “it’s nontoxic! That means you can eat it!” doesn’t mean that you should eat it

# orderedItems[].object.content
Adopt a dog! Keep the peanut butter industry solvent

#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday

# orderedItems[].object.contentMap.en
Adopt a dog! Keep the peanut butter industry solvent

#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday

# orderedItems[].object.content
Dear Burger King: I am as white as the driven snow and even I know putting Fritos on a whopper doesn’t make it Mexican street corn.

# orderedItems[].object.contentMap.en
Dear Burger King: I am as white as the driven snow and even I know putting Fritos on a whopper doesn’t make it Mexican street corn.

# orderedItems[].object.content
"The insurance from AAA Life Insurance Company helps protect you from a leading risk of death or injury you likely face EVERY DAY"

Dear AAA please explain to me how receiving money after i die protects me from dying. I’m not sure i’m following the plot here.

# orderedItems[].object.contentMap.en
"The insurance from AAA Life Insurance Company helps protect you from a leading risk of death or injury you likely face EVERY DAY"

Dear AAA please explain to me how receiving money after i die protects me from dying. I’m not sure i’m following the plot here.

# orderedItems[].object.content
I just want my fingertips to not smell like the elephant enclosure at the zoo

#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday

# orderedItems[].object.contentMap.en
I just want my fingertips to not smell like the elephant enclosure at the zoo

#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday

# orderedItems[].object.content
I love this so much: https://jan.miksovsky.com/posts/2024/1 1-12-momboard

#amnesia #elderCare #vanillaJS

# orderedItems[].object.contentMap.en
I love this so much: https://jan.miksovsky.com/posts/2024/1 1-12-momboard

#amnesia #elderCare #vanillaJS

# orderedItems[].object.content
I know the fence wasn’t there this morning but I don’t think you need to bark at it.

Or the bobcat.

Or the five gallon buckets.

#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday

# orderedItems[].object.contentMap.en
I know the fence wasn’t there this morning but I don’t think you need to bark at it.

Or the bobcat.

Or the five gallon buckets.

#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday

# orderedItems[].object.content
Last week we got a new water heater.
Plumber: the temperature is set to A because that’s all we’re legally allowed to set it to.
Me: what the hell is A?
Plumber: it’s how Bradford White labels all the temperatures on their water heaters.
Me: what is that in freedom units?

# orderedItems[].object.contentMap.en
Last week we got a new water heater.
Plumber: the temperature is set to A because that’s all we’re legally allowed to set it to.
Me: what the hell is A?
Plumber: it’s how Bradford White labels all the temperatures on their water heaters.
Me: what is that in freedom units?

# orderedItems[].object.content
Today I was making up words to a sea shanty about my dog and discovered that “General Taylor” is about President Zachary Taylor (and probably a bunch of others)

https://thelongestsong.fandom.com/wiki/General_Taylor

Good weekend for learning history I guess

# orderedItems[].object.contentMap.en
Today I was making up words to a sea shanty about my dog and discovered that “General Taylor” is about President Zachary Taylor (and probably a bunch of others)

https://thelongestsong.fandom.com/wiki/General_Taylor

Good weekend for learning history I guess

# orderedItems[].object.content
Yesterday I came home from watching Hamilton and read about the election of 1800 and that was some wild shit

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/1800_U nited_States_presidential_election

# orderedItems[].object.contentMap.en
Yesterday I came home from watching Hamilton and read about the election of 1800 and that was some wild shit

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/1800_U nited_States_presidential_election

# orderedItems[].object.content
Dear Wawa can we have car washes please?

# orderedItems[].object.contentMap.en
Dear Wawa can we have car washes please?