wandering.shop is one of the many independent Mastodon servers you can use to participate in the fediverse.
Wandering.Shop aims to have the vibe of a quality coffee shop at a busy SF&F Convention. Think tables of writers, fans and interested passers-by sharing drinks and conversation on a variety of topics.
Exactly two years ago, I was sitting at my desk at my old job, bored, reading a blog post by a trans woman I had started following on Mastodon, when I saw this:
If you’re under the assumption that you’re a cis guy but have always dreamed of being a girl, and the only reason you haven’t transitioned is because you’re afraid you’ll be an “ugly” girl: That’s dysphoria. You’re literally trans girl already, hon.
I stopped reading. I stared at the webcomic with this accusation. My mind started spinning. I said to myself, “Oh. I think I should keep reading.”
I gave a detailed account of the following week in this blog post. In brief, that week culminated in a moment of existential panic that resolved into knowing who I was for the first time in my life. By that time, I had adopted a new name. Two months later, I started hormone treatment. Six months after that, my new name was official.
A lot has happened in the last two years. I feel like I’ve lived more than in the previous twenty years. I learned to love unconditionally. I’ve changed careers. I’ve moved. I’ve got boobs!
But most significantly, I’ve come to know who I am on a profound level. I’m a chaotic genderfluid nonbinary transcendgender woman. “Chaotic genderfluid” because my energy shifts around the whole field of gender identities, and even I can’t predict when and how it will shift. I’ve accepted that, no matter how much I yearn for complete femininity, I have masculine aspects that are an integral part of who I am; I’m definitely nonbinary.
But I don’t consider myself partially male, partially female. I’ve learned a lot about gender in the last two years.1 Gender is not tied to physical, hormonal, or chromosomal sex. It’s something we’re indoctrinated into from the time we’re in our third trimester, something we learn in childhood until it becomes deeply ingrained in our teens. Binary gender is an ideology that is so rigidly enforced, we come to think of it as normal, and every other possibility as a deviation.
That’s where transcendgender comes from. I don’t consider myself pangender or agender—or even polygender. I identify more with the feminine than the masculine, but I transcend the need to identify with any specific gender.
It was a liberating realization. As I’ve said elsewhere, I’m the best of both worlds, but bound by neither. After five decades, I’m truly free.
See Sex/Gender: Biology in a Social World by Anne Fausto-Sterling ↩︎
Rent due TOMORROW (grace period til the 5th) and I'm still ~1000 short If you're able to help at all, boosts included, I'd be so grateful. Feels like a neverending slog
My friend Tony is a Black and Latinx genderfluid and nonbinary person living in the American south. She is currently looking for work and actively applying for jobs, and needs some help affording food in the meantime. $100 is the goal but anything helps! $10 can help him get some food today. Boost appreciated.
$2175 rent + $150 utilities due in 4 days (plus a few days grace period). We've made a dent in it but there's quite a bit to go. THANK YOU for the many, many shares + continued support!!!
$311 after 4 days—a great start, will definitely need more monentum if I'm gonna make rent on time! Y'all have been absolutely amazing, such a huge help w the stress & challenges I'm facing.
Wishing everyone at London Trans Pride 2025 a lovely, safe, cop-free time
We aren't joining you this year, but there will be other years for LTP, and there are a handful of Prides we might (tenuously) be able to attend in August.
Please do take care, stay with your friends / group, and don't trust the Met to take your side if anti-trans bigots try to cause trouble
)
I Am Violet
Look at this adorable bunny holding the genderfluid flag! 
If you're able to help at all, boosts included, I'd be so grateful. Feels like a neverending slog 
community.
Can you help me find em?
My flags are a total disaster, it looks gloriously bad in here, and honestly, I live for that chaotic energy. 
I’m so unapologetically gay and proudly gender-fluid, you wouldn’t even believe it. 
