you fools, how has nintendo tricked you into playing and enjoying the fifth iteration of Saccharine Capitalism Sim

I wonder if Tom Lehrer knew, back when he was performing all those amazing songs, that they would still be relevant in half a century. Sometimes more than they were at the time

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Mom: *announcement about shelter in place*
Me: "Question, does constructing a guillotine to execute greedy politicians and landlords count as essential work?"
My mom, who has dealt with me being exactly the way I am for 30 years and is surprised by exactly nothing: "Excellent question! I'll bring it up at the chamber meeting, but go ahead and keep working for now."

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In light of the recent news that the Tokyo 2020 Olympics are being postponed until 2021, Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games Tokyo 2020 now has the unique distinction of being based on an alternate version of a real-life event that will not happen in the form depicted in the game.

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@dankwraith me too! i'm going complete wildman. a friend dubbed it "plaguebeard." i don't have a webcam so i'm free to be filthy

Y'know, it's not difficult to frame COVID as a consequence of climate change. And one of the benefits of climate change (if you're a soulless husk of a man) is that you don't need to build death camps or line up firing squads in order to get rid of the "undesirables." All you have to do is *appear* bumbling and inept. The planet commits the genocide for you, and history labels you more of a Herbert Hoover than an Adolf Hitler.

Time and time again we have seen that in times of crisis, criminals are a hundred percent more likely to come to your aid before your government even considers it

also it would be a fun game to fire every hospital CEO, reappropriate their salaries, and see if the hospital actually suffers for not having a rich dumbass at the wheel

now seems like a good time to liquidate all the health insurance companies

One thing I've learned from stockpiling food is that there's no reason for expensive and complicated coffee rituals. It turns out instant coffee was totally fine the whole time

Times like this can be especially difficult for people with substance abuse problems. The situation requires that we isolate ourselves, but healthy recovery requires connection with other people.

AA and NA offer online meetings that can be an essential lifeline during times like this. They're easy to join and you don't need to appear on mic/webcam to sit in. Here are some:

@cheesemonster I just saw today's footage and I truly can't see Biden lasting till November

@garbados "end times capitalism" is starting to sound more accurate than "late stage"

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covid-19 pandemic • symptoms • advice 

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Covid-19 but also 9/11, sorry 

Humphrey Bogart had so much gravitas that he was able to make "hill of beans" sound masc as hell

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Governments' responses to COVID-19 are a perfect prelude to how those governments will respond to climate change in the coming decades. They cannot comprehend it, they are not prepared for it, and they will not help you.

Occasionally I proctor the SATs for a local school (NYC), just to earn a little extra money. The administrator just called me to let me know that they still plan on conducting tests for the students this Saturday.

That's a really bad idea, right? I'm not being unreasonable? I said sorry, but I'm out.

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Wandering Shop

The Wandering Shop is a Mastodon instance initially geared for the science fiction and fantasy community but open to anyone. We want our 'local' timeline to have the feel of a coffee shop at a good convention: tables full of friendly conversation on a wide variety of topics. We welcome everyone who wants to participate, so long as you're willing to abide by our code of conduct.