Chris 👈🏻 @offby1@wandering.shop

Imagine how exhausting it is to be policed constantly about how you use Twitter -- "too impersonal!" "too personal!" "too much tech!" "too little tech!" -- while dealing with a constant stream of lewd emails and thirsty tweets, which you're not allowed to acknowledge or call out.

Construction question: If I want to anchor a shelf frame to my concrete foundation wall, how do I ensure I don't create leaks?

It’s not enough, but it’s a start.
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RT @rezoneseattle
Q. How can $800k townhomes contribute to affordability?

A. By costing $80k less, while also being bigger, newer, and occupying half as much land as the least expensive single family detached houses in a neighborhood

#rezoneseattle to make this possible everywhere
https://twitter.com/rezoneseattle/status/1342983525817991168

Wanna fight?
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RT @GenericBologna
In 5 words or less, start a fight without politics
https://twitter.com/GenericBologna/status/1342284017941557249

Also, “being armed“ doesn’t carry the death penalty, even in this benighted country.
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RT @komonews
Andre' Hill was unarmed when was shot and killed by Columbus Police Officer Adam Coy early Tuesday morning.
https://komonews.com/news/nation-world/andre-hill-candlelight-vigil-news-conference-december-26-2020
https://twitter.com/komonews/status/1343014486534402049

Pineapple is delicious on pizza
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RT @GenericBologna
In 5 words or less, start a fight without politics
https://twitter.com/GenericBologna/status/1342284017941557249

"It doesn't really matter. Nothing matters any more" -- Helen as the Buccaneers get a 5 yard penalty at the end of the 3rd quarter.

...

Still here.

I feel like there should be more.
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RT @adamjk
quote this tweet with your top 3 personal accomplishments of 2020 ✨
https://twitter.com/adamjk/status/1340713747870928899

Eventually, at 10:30, we caved and woke him up.

A Christmas (2020) Classic
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RT @RexHolz
Our 12 year old daughter made us a Christmas ornament!
https://twitter.com/RexHolz/status/1342514312867278849

I think we should start a pool, betting on when @emmdeearr will surface for Christmas.

I never would have predicted that I’d have a kid who sleeps in Christmas morning. 8:45 and no sign.

Holy Jebus.

I would have higher hopes for this if I hadn't been waiting almost an hour for a reply on the support. Waiting for @CenturyLink to reply to my requests has basically killed my entire afternoon.
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RT @CenturyLinkHelp
@offby1 I'm sorry for the internet issue and trouble getting help, Chris. If you'd like to send a dm, I'll be glad to take a look to try and help from here.

- Mike
https://twitter.com/CenturyLinkHelp/status/1342215006482554881

*looks at tomorrow's rib roast*

In.

Goddamn.

Deed.
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RT @BradfordPearson
Just watched a guy order the $98/lb. prosciutto and when the clerk said “Are you sure, it’s 98 dollars a pound,” the guy said “Fuck it, if not now when?” and frankly that’s the energy we should all take in these final days of this terrible year.
https://twitter.com/BradfordPearson/status/1341815075506696202

How it How it's
started. going.
---
RT @gayblackvet
How US history What actually
is taught happened https://t.co/bouMdvuoX8
https://twitter.com/gayblackvet/status/1341652470087385095

Also tonight: I utterly failed to make hard sauce. Three times.

Well, I just spent the last hour watching cooking videos. Tomorrow's gonna be _lit_.

I anticipate deliciousness.

Soon…