If you've ever spent time with me and like/love something about me other than my books, I'd appreciate it if you'd contact me (OFF Twitter) when you have a chance and let me know what that is.

(If I've ever asked you NOT to contact me, please continue to respect that.)

When I have writing news, there will be more stuff here, probably. When social media becomes at least 40% less toxic, I may even start reading it again. My people will let me know. ;) In the meantime, email, or contact me via my other Twitter. Lots of love. Stay safe.

Also going to start a for Newbies game sometime next month via Google chat, and may be (very unprofessionally) streaming some of my gaming sessions once I get the hang of how. All of that is mostly associated with my other Twitter account.

Right now I am coping by snuggling my kids and watching Dragon Prince with them, and playing a lot of Diablo and even making dumb videos of me playing Diablo. If you just miss the sound of my voice, I post those on @games_shell@twitter.com. You can "hang out" with me a while.

All that aside, I feel damned lucky. Migraines suck, but they don't kill you, and they always end. As long as I continue to be alive, there's always a chance for things to get better, or for something amazing and wonderful to happen. That's what I hang on to.

My health isn't good. BPD stuff has been turned back up to 11, and possibly as a consequence, my migraines have also suddenly turned up for 11. Yesterday I had my first hemiplegic migraine in 15 years (right side paralysis). My leg's still wonky, may be for a few days.

Since I am here though, and since I suspended my Patreon, indefinitely, I'll give an update. My family is doing well, Matt and the girls are healthy, everybody's doing the same things they were doing before, just at home now.

If you are ill, you're ill, and I'm really sorry. I can't personally help you, as I'm always ill and more so than usual right now. But I want you to know that I AM sorry. And I wish you were feeling better. And I hope you find a way to feel better, even if it's only time.

That's all I'm going to say. I'm still not really checking this account, but there are times when I just need to say something to a few thousand people, and this is one of them. I hope it helps somebody who's feeling their mental illness isn't "legitimate" enough right now.

That seems obvious, but sometimes I make the mistake of reading Twitter and discover that to a lot of people, it isn't. So I'll say it again. Suffering is bad. When possible, we should alleviate it, regardless of its source.

And understand that illness is illness. Whether it's your "fault" in some way, or just lands on you out of the blue like a meteor, or came with you into this world from your mother's womb, illness still sucks, and if it can be helped, it should be. Suffering is bad. Always.

I guess I'll just wrap this up the way I often wrap up these rants, which is to say, for Heaven's sake, people, show some compassion. Understand that not everyone can endure what you've endured. Not everyone has been properly prepared.

In fact, I believe it can be even harder for people who haven't lived with out-of-control emotions for their entire lives. When we rely on part of our brain or body to work a certain way, and it stops, it is extra terrifying.

I cannot be cured, but if you CAN be, I want you to be. If your poor mental health is caused by external circumstances, I want those circumstances to change so that you can be healthy. And I also respect that you truly are disabled by it, temporary or not.

Temporary disability is a thing. I know that some of the way it's talked about can enrage people with permanent disabilities. Believe me, I understand, but that doesn't mean I agree. I do not. As someone with a permanent mental health disorder, I am standing up to dissent.

But that does NOT mean that my "poor mental health" is any more valid than yours right now. Wellness is wellness, and even a lot of us without genetic/traumatic cause are NOT WELL right now.

Jury's still out over whether my thing is genetic or was caused by early trauma (my theory is some of column A, some of column B). Whatever it is, it's permanent, and it requires a suite of ongoing non-pharmaceutical interventions.

It is 100% okay to say your mental health is bad if you are having trouble getting out of bed in the morning. If your heart is racing at every innocuous sound you hear. If you are angry to the point of violence at almost no provocation. Even if it's temporary, or not genetic.

But whatever the cause of panic, depression, uncontrollable rage, despair, etc. - these things HURT. And when you have them, you are in poor mental health. "Mental health" is not a matter of who needs meds and who doesn't. It's a discussion of who is okay.

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Wandering Shop

The Wandering Shop is a Mastodon instance initially geared for the science fiction and fantasy community but open to anyone. We want our 'local' timeline to have the feel of a coffee shop at a good convention: tables full of friendly conversation on a wide variety of topics. We welcome everyone who wants to participate, so long as you're willing to abide by our code of conduct.