Dad Joke Repository🌹 @mattfred@wandering.shop
ChemE. Dork. It's wonderful on the south coast, USA.
He/Him
http://www.twitter.com/mfrson
https://www.instagram.com/mattfred52/
https://mattfred.blog
JOKE: When birds are flying in a V-formation, you can sometimes see that one side is longer than the other. Do you know why that is? Show more
I've been away from the toot site because it's still not in my wheelhouse of habits, and everything has been in flux. Mainly because we closed on our dream house last month and have been flailing about getting things moved and organized. Still a long way to go, but things are good and I wanted to share good news with all of you stranger-friends. Good things still happen.
So my Yahoo email account just asked me to read and agree to new Terms and Conditions because they've been bought by Oath. They sound like they're going to read my emails. Is it time to start paying for ProtonMail?
I dream in excel. I breathe it. The world is supported by the frail tethers of VLOOKUP.
UPDATE: Closing date is in two weeks. I can't believe we found the perfect house!
Hey all, I don't know why, but I got sucked into The BirdPlace. I have to admit that the designers of that site have nicely leveraged my tendency toward internet addiction. Thank the gods that hasn't transformed into other addictions. Anyway, I need to be here more and I want to know y'all. Hope your day is shiny and bright!
OMGOMGOMG I THINK WE FOUND A HOUSE AND IT'S FUCKING PERFECT
THERE ARE SO MANY HOUSES OUT THERE AND I WANT TO LIVE IN ONE, CAN SOMEONE JUST GIVE ME A HOUSE JEEZ
Did I accidentally move north? There's ice on the ground again! Holy crap!
My boss's boss is new, super abrasive, and loud. I want to hate him, but when he challenges me, he's actually challenging me with good ideas, so I have to agree with him most of the time while inwardly fuming that I hate his style.
/rant
Finally beat Divine Beast Naboris today on Breath of the Wild. Been having "throw the controller at the TV" moments until then.
It was a good day today. Felt like I'm finally making good parenting decisions. I had time to get deep into final fantasy 6. And the weather was beautiful.
Three day weekend. What do I do with it?
12/31 regardless of timezones. Listen: I'm doing this. I love you all but I CANNOT empower & enable hatred anymore. Find me at
Good choices:
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#TwitterEvacuationDay is already tomorrow, 12/31. Join a decentralized, non-profit social network: https://joinMastodon.org
Better anti-harassment tools, approachable moderators who care, custom emojis, animated avatars, no ads, this list is too long to fit.
https://twitter.com/MastodonProject/status/946899893309923328
When they tell you not to move to Mastodon.
It's cold here in Houston.
But I can't complain about it to my friends and family who live in Minnesota/South Dakota. It's 40 degrees here while it struggles to reach 0 degrees there.
So instead of complaining about the weather, I'll complain about not being able to complain about the weather.
Not sure who decided we needed to start five different projects over the 4-day holiday weekend, but that person better hide.
"Oh hey, wanna buy our chemicals?"
This is an example of why I'm not in sales at our chemical plant.
"fear is the mind cruller" best quote from Frank Herbert's classic Dunet
I'm ready for the weekend!
*receives note*
* "it's only Tuesday" *
*puts scotch on the shopping list for tonight*
