don't assume that because your niche of the world is accepting, that folks transitioning, esp. teenagers, are doing okay. Being trans, having dysphoria, fighting for transition care & acceptance -- these are all really difficult things.

even in an accepting, loving family, being a trans teen sucks. There's accidental misgendering, trying to learn whole new social patterns, fighting the medical/psych system, the massive stress of school, wider social alienation & fears, whatever else issues there are at home, the ever greater global precarity, and just the general emotional tumble-dryer that is teen years. It's pretty much always gonna be shitty.

even aside from dysphoria & social pressure, being trans involves killing your past self. I say this metaphorically, but it's still traumatic, even if it's ultimately fruitful. It's an incredibly vulnerable to be rebuilding one's sense of self, and usually at the same time that one's brain is feeling a lot of self-disgust/hatred. That's what we mean when we say dysphoria is hell. As a kid/teen? So fucking hard.

I think the most important thing I can say is:
If there are kids/teens close in your life that might be Having Gender Feelings, or have expressed that they're trans -- acceptance is good but not remotely enough. Don't just be 'cool' about it. You need to be actively loving and supportive. Because they are trying so so hard, and being met with casual acceptance may be less than they need even if they don't know it. They are dealing with grief, and fear, and confusion, and new joy, and so, so vulnerable. Talk about that with them.


@s0 tbh, i felt the same need even as an adult. yeah supportive people being "cool" but my whole world was shaking.

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