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Kitty Chandler ✅ @kittychandler

Hey look at me, doing my edits on this story for White Noise like a goddamn writer who is an adult.

... Suddenly I'm picturing a(n interspecies) wedding between my protag and her boyfriend. It'd go along the lines of "Do you?" "Yep." "Do you?" "Sure." "Right. Let's eat." Also I need to work a variation on that 'I love dogs' hilarity in there somewhere.

@kittychandler "Do you?" "Yes." "You realize it comes with my dog, right?" "Yep."

@kacealexander ... no, in this case the groom IS the dog. 😂

@kittychandler AH!

"Do you?"
"You know I'm a dog...?"
"Hey. I LOVE dogs." Pause. "A lot."
"Don't be weird. And I do, too." Pause.
"Did you just call me a bitch?" "Christ, I love you."

... I forgot that I used the bit "I could murder an omelette." "Two ovicides, coming up." in here. Suddenly I feel better about my snappy dialogue.

... Now I'm realizing I do interspecies romance a LOT.

That’s almost what I joked I would say when I was at a wedding rehearsal in which I was the officiant. The Bride/Groom wanted a short ceremony; the wedding planner bitch was in a hurry.

“Do you?” “Yes.”
“Do you?” “Yes.”

“Great, kiss, you’re married.”

@aldersprig That's probably what I would do in a hurried ceremony. But when I officiated my best friend's ceremony we came thiiiiiis close to having me do the opening speech of "Mawidge! Mawidge is wot bwings us togetah today"

@kittychandler For the actual ceremony, I ended up quoting both Homer and Homer Simpson.

@aldersprig That sounds like the best kind of wedding ceremony.