My mech is (a short story thread, replies unlisted)
The hardware is holding out nicely, given what it has endured on its journey. With some basic maintenance, I should be able to pilot this machine for some time into the future.
My mech was assigned to me some time ago. I feel I was tasked long ago to monitor this strange race of apex predators in a masquerading operation, although contact with my mission handler(s) has been lost. My original mission scope has largely faded with time and corruption.
My mech's sensory systems are functioning impeccably. Artificial intelligence allows me to interpret human language and intentions with remarkable accuracy. The intricate neural networks I have been provided with allow me to update the algorithm set as needs arise and human society changes.
I have had incredible opportunities to study abstract concepts like love, cruelty, war, religion, sarcasm, and the complicated nature of consciousness. I have been unable to come to a final determination as to what overarching purpose humans fulfill within their ecosystem.
My mech's output algorithms, however, have not fared so well. Human perception is quite keen and constructing emotional cues is a very fine art indeed. I had far better success when my mech and its peers were juvenile, and such misapproximations were more easily overlooked.
It seems that the lines between politeness and lying are particularly confusing for my binary classification routines. I am certain I am missing at least one key dimensional variable.
I am uncertain as to whether the programming for this hardware is arcane, or far too advanced for my personal understanding. My own experiments with them have ended with either confusing or disastrously poor results. Human neural net mechanics have attempted to assist me with some lower-level tweaks from a black-box approach.
Failing that, I would appreciate any skilled inside knowledge as to manipulation of human neural output algorithms and expressive decision mechanics. You have my gratitude in advance.
PS: I would also humbly request basic valid specimens to feed my genetic learning algorithm for the study of the phenomenon known as "memes". My processing units are arriving at inconsistent conclusions involving their intended meanings.
I feel rather certain that I was not the only operative sent on this mission, and fundamentals dictate that redundancy would be a far more effective tactic. If another reads this missive, and would kindly pass on this distress call to a mission handler, I would be in their debt.