Procedurally Generated Kawa @kawa@wandering.shop

#introduction / #introductions

Hello Mastodon/Shop, I'm Kawa!

By day, I do #statistics in healthcare.
I'm based in #NYC, and would love more local friends!
I ID as #queer - specifically, pansexual , but really you should read that as "bisexual pedant".
I love the #roguelike tradition / #procgen culture and art.
I like making neat things, #food, #origami, and #gunpla, and am always trying to build up cool and neat skills.

I'm glad to be here! 💖

Deleted all the official bookyface/birbsite apps from my phone. Swapped to Friendly and Falcon Pro, both paid.

Everything is soothingly in dark mode. Timelines are actually chronological and ads are not present, just things my friends are discussing.

I might actually start catching up with people who use these sites now! This feels fantastic!

A comet messaged me out of the blue to tell me he'd been listening to one of my favorite musicians and really enjoying it, and I'm going to be feeling warm and fuzzy for all the rest of the day.

Is this one of those fabled "perks of ethical polyamory" I always heard about?

I used to make Let's Plays. If you had asked me then, my influences were almost all Minecraft LPers. But I'm sure TotalBiscuit's "WTF Is" series is a part of it too, though not directly.

The idea of carefully considering game design as a consumer/player is deeply fascinating and important to me. I miss LPing but don't have the time/splines for it anymore.

I hadn't realized how much I missed it until his death.

RIP. And thanks.

Dear #NYC friends, the Manhattanhenge days have been calculated for you to get your photos in (or avoid Manhattan...) : May 29-30, July 12-13.
Thanks Gothamist for info: http://gothamist.com/2018/05/18/2018_manhattanhenge_d.php

Talked about some really hard things in therapy today, about things that deeply frustrate and scare me.

The instant I was out of the session i immediately started thinking about getting a drink or three.

It's a dangerous behavior and I want to acknowledge it *now*, just to look back on in case it turns into a negative pattern.

A research group is trying to get a large cohort health study going, and needs a million participants at all ages, walks of life, health levels, and parts of the US. (Sorry, non-Americans.) They’ll pay for any labwork they ask for, and your genome might end up sequenced, which is kinda neat.

I mean, yes, it's a large pile of data and we know how scary that is. But it's actually, opt-in For Science, and that may have value if you want to participate.

https://www.joinallofus.org/en/who-can-join

I wish I had a large enough constellation that polycul.es would be useful to me. (I mean, maybe if I included my comets, but even most of them are in at most one other relationship.)

I wish I had more opportunities to show (exercise?) compersion.

But I wonder if "I want more poly feelings" is enough reason to actually start actively looking for partners again, especially considering how socially full my calendar already is.

Future poly glossary posts, if there's interest:

* my understanding of compersion, and how it can relate interestingly to kink
* "ordinality", like "sexuality" but for mono-poly possibly-inherent preference
* others if people tell me they want them, maybe?

A short, very much rough draft on a piece of #polyamory terminology I've made up: "comets", as related to one's "constellation" (i.e. occasional drop-ins into the polycule).

Please read and ask questions/give suggestions on how I can make this clearer? Thanks in advance!

https://kawatan.dreamwidth.org/3341.html

A breath of salt-kissed air, released.

A breath from the crook in the neck of a beloved one, released.

A breath shared in confidence, released.

A breath with the medley of a hundred cultures' most treasured meals, released.

It's Champion's League day and I'm listening at work and probably making the WEIRDEST faces that would freak out my coworkers if they were paying attention.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

(if you care: I'm rooting for Bayern. if you REALLY care: reply to this toot and I will blabber endlessly about this stupid team and maybe even livetoot reactions.)

In news that delights me, Janelle Monáe comes out as #pansexual. What a delight that I hope has others researching the term and learning about the fluidity of sexuality. https://www.rollingstone.com/music/features/cover-story-janelle-monae-prince-new-lp-her-sexuality-w519523

I'm officially halfway through my semi-vacation. I'm doing a lot of sorting through old memories and stuff, and seeing friends and places I haven't in years.

I will not live here again for a long while if ever, but my community here will always find space and time for me, and that has value.

Also oh man I own SO MUCH STUFF. A good deal of it will be donated to thrift stores, but still, SO MUCH TO TAKE BACK HOME.

I'm on semi vacation. (I'm "working from home", but there's not tons to do, and I'll be in Florida, sorting through old stuff I left there and seeing friends and places I haven't for years.)

Since 2018 has been full of life shifts towards the life I want, and the "vacation" meant I could spend 3 hours in a salon, it felt like the right time for a pretty significant haircut and my first time with, highlights.

Before & after: https://imgur.com/a/eROfP

A Discord server I'm on has a channel just for pictures of clouds and it's honestly great to have an excuse to look at the sky.

(It helps that in fits and starts the weather has been getting better.)

A reminder to myself:

Occasional "irresponsibility" - disrupting the carefully crafted evening routine on a work night - in exchange for socialization can actually be a really good and healing thing.

That being said, the carefully crafted evening routine is pure form physical self-care, and that's important.

A life well lived is in the balance.

I am really intensely proud of how my apartment looks. Here's a "house tour". https://imgur.com/a/xiTw4

The sofa arrived on time after all! And was easy to assemble! And...is a bit too firm at the moment but should relax over time.