abuse adj, housework win 

For the first time in months my kitchen is clean. Like, caught up on dishes and wouldn't be embarrassed to have a stranger see it clean.

And everytime I start to enjoy it my mind keeps pointing out all the ways I've fallen short my mother's standards of clean.

Folks, I swear, the White House isn't kept fucking clean enough for my mom.

Which is to say, fuck my mom.

abuse adj, mental weirdness, Jewish stuff 

I say this and get a knee jerk response of 'omg, I shouldn't say that! What if she sees this? What if it hurts her feeling? I'm not being nice!'

Which, fuck being nice, I shouldn't be worrying about not hurting her when she's still fucking with my head after not seeing her for nearly a decade.

But them I'm like 'but that's lashon hara, and sure fuck her, I don't owe her anything, but I still shouldn't be doing lashon hara'

*tears hair out* *is amused*

abuse adj, housework win 


My mum has a temper.

As a kid, if she was cleaning I learned to stay away or I'd get told I'm the worst sort of slob. Why aren't I doing this. And the vacuum would get slammed violently into every nook to underscore her frustration.

Now I have a partner who __loves__ cleaning. And every time she displays her "acts of service" love language, I'm stuck feeling guilty, with my hair on end thinking I've been awful letting it get this dirty. :/

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