Jer Lance @jer_@wandering.shop

On a scale from 1 to "Utterly Kicking My Ass", this week is definitely dragging me behind the middle school and throwing me a beating... #xp

The moral of the story is...stop putting your hands out for handshakes you filthy animals! #xp

Over time I've grown accustomed shaking the gross, unclean hand of a random stranger despite not liking it at all

Now, when I really don't want to be touching stranger hands, my default reaction to a presented hand is to shake it and say "we shouldn't be doing this" #xp

I absolutely love Takenoko...great game and very pretty! #xp

Congratulations to Michael Walker, the winner on the Patton Oswalt tickets! Thank you for your donation! I'll be reaching out this week with details! #ExtraLife #xp

Apparently, today is national Daughter Day here in the US...which is a perfect day to celebrate something amazing mine did this week: gave birth to my second grandchild, my first grand-daughter. Congratulations Ber and welcome to the world Cassie! ♥️ #xp

I'll be doing the selection live on Twitch (http://twitch.jerlance.com) on Sunday evening. Anonymous donations won't count (who are you?!), if it isn't obvious that your message share and donation are the same person, message me to connect the dots. #xp

Our @ExtraLife4Kids fund raiser is coming up fast. I will be giving away a pair of tickets to Patton Oswalt's 11/6 show at the Fillmore in Detroit to one person that donated $20 or more THIS WEEKEND! Share this for a second entry! #xp http://jer.wtf/extralife21

I'm proud that @RocketMortgage was ranked by @FortuneMagazine as a Great Place to Work, but also as one of their 75 best workplaces for women! https://fortune.com/best-workplaces-for-women/2021/rocket-mortgage/

And if you're looking to join our team, I'm looking for a team leader and a product owner! #xp

I didn't pay this last night, but here are the acts I caught yesterday. @mothermothermusic was an amazing start to the day, but seeing Flaming Lips for the first time was the highlight of the day. #RiotFest #xp

Alright @RiotFest, let's do this! #xp

You know those stories of parents summoning otherworldly power to lift a car off their child? That was the energy of me trying to exit the bed this morning.

I don't know if this message will even send, as I fear that I was a victim of a brutal murder!

I am pain. #riotfest #xp

Today's shows. I got a later start, but still packed in so many great acts! #riotfest #xp

In this story, I was successfully baited into more than 60 minutes in the pit getting my ass kicked by hundreds of youthful, fit, rage-filled toddlers.

It was an amazing set, but I might need to visit an ER. #RiotFest #xp 3/3

Now reader, if this was a good story, it would be about how I brushed that insolence off and had a great show way in the back.

If it was a tale of heroism, it would be about how I got in that pit and showed those whippersnappers what's what.

Unfortunately... 2/3
#RiotFest #xp

As I was headed to the front rail for Rise Against I heard "hey, old man, you getting in the pit?"

I pointed out that I was a bit old for that and he agreed that it was "probably for the best"

I'm sorry...what? 1/3
#RiotFest #xp

I thought it was cool that @eMpyre_ramireX did this, so here was my exhausting, rainy yesterday. I didn't see all of each set, obviously, but I caught at least two songs from everything circled! #RiotFest #xp

At the hotel and my body is questioning the wisdom of an out of shape fat guy with a bad back lifting all those people.

Mistakes were made. #riotfest #xp

Can confirm, currently being rained on in front of @Coheed! It's really soothing on the sunburn... #xp #riotfest

During @MotionCityMusic I found my pit calling: I'm the edge on the pit that keeps the kids on, and if you look at me and say "up?", you--my friend--are going up! #riotfest #xp