explaining to a friend how it's vital to play co-op games with your partner before you move in together (stuff like Pandemic, Betrayal at the House on the Hill, Mysterium, etc) so you can figure out how both of you handle frustration and conflict in a low-stakes setting before you're ready to rip their head off because they didn't do the dishes after saying they would for the fourth time

in seriousness, though: figuring that shit out before you decide that you want to spend the rest of your lives together is crucial. games are a great, low-stakes way to find out how your partner reacts when they don't get their way.

I'd advocate for doing it sooner in the relationship, but.

I knew the partner was who I wanted to marry after we epically fucked up putting together my IKEA dresser.

because he didn't get angry, he didn't flip his shit. he was pretty clearly frustrated, and so was I, but we were able to talk about it like adults and make a plan for how we were gonna fix stuff.

and I knew, after going through it with him, that this was someone I could have healthy conflict with and depend on when times get rough.

there's a reason we rarely fight. it's not because there's no conflict -- it's because we're pretty good at addressing it head-on and making a plan.

@hafnia Yeah, counts for a lot, and I've sort of learned the hard way ;) Two people is the worst number to organise anything, the overhead is massive and easily overlooked.

@hafnia Going on a disasterous road trip, breaking down in the middle of nowhere and running out of money for repairs or hotel are also a good way to find out how you and partner deal with stress. Makes for good stories later.

@ewankeep definitely! Honestly, "doing something fun yet with a high chance of failure that will thrust you into untested situations" is probably the best way to put it. Encompasses things like traveling together, hiking, etc. :D

@hafnia My ex and I helped a friend put together ikea furniture, and were joking at the time that in an amazing feat, our relationship had survived cooperative ikea assembly

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