I saw a really great analogy (for cis people) about what it's like to be misgendered and, like, hey:
"Imagine that your name is Sara, but everyone you meet says you look more like a Susan and refuses to call you by your given name. Now imagine how grating it is, *even if that person otherwise means well*."
It struck a chord with me because my full name is a nickname for another, longer female name. Think that, like, my given name is Lizzy so everyone wants to think that my full name must be Elizabeth.
It drives me up the fucking wall and I can only imagine how much worse it would be if it were my pronouns instead!
@hafnia yeah I get big mad when people call me Victoria and it’s Not That Deep but it still makes me feel like I’m not being heard or listened to and this analogy strikes me right in the brain for sure. Thanks for sharing. ❤️
@Torie yeah, EXACTLY. like, yargh, every time someone calls me by what-they-think-is-my-name-but-isn't, I just get kicked right back to high school where my arch nemesis used to call me by what he knew full well wasn't my name, because it "should have been" aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
big surprise that he's also incredibly trans/homophobic, amirite? :|
@hafnia I get the opposite, people assume my full first name is Katrina because I use Kat...
@hafnia I was close to someone who came out as nonbinary a few years ago.
I saw it in their eyes whenever anyone honored their preferred name and pronouns. It was like they were opening wings they never knew they had.
Ever since then I’ve made it a point to only call folks by the name they want to be called, even if they’re cis and even if they’re not leftist, and you know what? Even if they’re right wing, and even if they’re an awful person.
I think being called what you want to be called is an intrinsic human right.
@hafnia heck, even if you're Sara and everyone who communicates with you in writing just puts Sarah instead, and even if they're just being careless rather than intentional, it is super grating!
Hm, that’s a good analogy I think :-)
The Wandering Shop is a Mastodon instance initially geared for the science fiction and fantasy community but open to anyone. We want our 'local' timeline to have the feel of a coffee shop at a good convention: tables full of friendly conversation on a wide variety of topics. We welcome everyone who wants to participate, so long as you're willing to abide by our code of conduct.