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Account (now) locked to prevent spam follows. Will allow anyone to follow as long as they're obviously not a spambot. :)

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will admit that saying "I'm not bent on destroying the planet" feels odd in light of the 20 KILOWATT LASER I apparently am now responsible for setup of.

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I keep seeing a lot of apologies for not being interesting or funny or positive, and I just wanna say:

You are a person, not a brand. You do not need to be consistently anything but yourself. If you need to take a break, that's OK. We're all people, we'll understand.

rock-type pokemon gym where i am the gym leader, i do not have any pokemon, i just pelt the challenger with rocks until they leave

There’s a segment of ex-fedi users who went back to twitter because they feel masto is too “woke-poisoned” and I like to call them the “I just don’t understand why I can’t say it” contingent

We had this conversation as I was pulling on a t-shirt that reads, "Live like you're going to die (because you are)" with a happy Grim Reaper, so...

english: sometimes instead of saying toilet paper i shorten it to TP!

french: oh me too! i say PQ instead of papier toilette

e: the letters dont match

f:

e: why?

f:

e:

f: ass paper. PQ is short for ass paper, okay

"I found a shirt I want to buy, but I probably shouldn't."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, it, umm..."

"Why not?"

"It's another one about how death is an inevitability and we need to accept it to lead a fuller life."

The partner looked at me very gravely at this point. "Yeah, I think you have enough of those."

Request for Suggestions (Please boost!):

Hi all! My reading group is looking for anarchist texts that get a little deeper into theory, praxis, and history of anarchist thought, but are still modern enough to be accessible. Kropotkin, et al, are great, but we're looking for something that's more like a modern summary/analysis of Kropotkin (if y'all get what I mean).

Happy to hear any suggestions you might have!

Lewd mention 

you cannot teach me what ska is

I have an implant that prevents me from forming any memories relating to ska

Henckels, fwiw, one of the small forged sets bc I love the chef's knife I have of theirs and I actually feel confident in sharpening these myself

I have a decent paring knife now!!!! I am EXCITE

Finally, something that's not Faberware!

leveling up in adult by buying myself a decent fucking knife set

Hey Sea-Tac-Oly, my job search is starting in earnest! 

What can you do better than a bear? Nothing. They're as fast as a horse. Even a below average bear who sucks could easily overpower the mightiest of men. They swim. They climb. They got big ass knife hands. The only thing you can do better is operate a gun that someone else made for you. You suck. Bears are your betters.

Cop: I pulled you over for going 68 in a 55.

Me: Damn, 68? Officer, can you make that number just a little higher so I can hear the judge read it out loud?

Cop: Sure, whatever.

*Later in traffic court...*

Judge: How the fuck were you going 420 in a 55?

Me: It's freezing rain outside, surely my cat won't want to walk in this.

Cat: What beautiful weather we are having. /futzes around eating grass and being unbothered/

food 

im just an engine for turning coffee into posts

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Wandering Shop

The Wandering Shop is a Mastodon instance initially geared for the science fiction and fantasy community but open to anyone. We want our 'local' timeline to have the feel of a coffee shop at a good convention: tables full of friendly conversation on a wide variety of topics. We welcome everyone who wants to participate, so long as you're willing to abide by our code of conduct.