haf, now with 100% more SAD @hafnia@wandering.shop

Account (now) locked to prevent spam follows. Will allow anyone to follow as long as they're obviously not a spambot. :)

will admit that saying "I'm not bent on destroying the planet" feels odd in light of the 20 KILOWATT LASER I apparently am now responsible for setup of.

I keep seeing a lot of apologies for not being interesting or funny or positive, and I just wanna say:

You are a person, not a brand. You do not need to be consistently anything but yourself. If you need to take a break, that's OK. We're all people, we'll understand.

LOCAL DELIVERY SERVICE: It is finals week. Expected ETA on any food is 120 minutes.

ME: What if I tip your driver 50%?

LOCAL DELIVERY SERVICE: Your ETA is 35 minutes, thank you!

heh.

the partner's friend has decided that he's going to join us for Christmas! I'm now thinking about what to put in his stocking.

general rule of thumb: we're not religious and we don't celebrate Christmas itself per se, but it's a cute tradition that's an excuse to give people nice (small) gifts, so we'll roll with it...for now.

on the one hand, am I stressed out of my gd mind a lot of the time, because I am full of deadlines and anxiety? yes.

but do I also have room to do shit that a lot of people don't do? yes.

if I have an idea I want to chase down, no matter how hare-brained, I can just...chase it down. if it works, cool, and if not, oh well, wasted nothing but my time.

and I get paid way too much money for it, so that's TOTALLY FINE AND NOT AT ALL ICKY, clearly.

Not like, "I'm rich and never have to work!", but I'm lucky enough to have enough in savings that I could be unemployed for a year without needing to worry significantly. I have health insurance through the partner's job; that's the biggest concern. (I literally got the insurance card yesterday.)

but I stay.

so.

I should probably quit complaining.

it's more like, "I believe in what I do and feel that if we succeed I will have made the world a better place, which is not something most of my peers can say about the work that they do -- I find it meaningful and think that ultimately, on the whole, that's probably better for me than 'loving' what I do", but.

honestly I think a big part of my going, "AHHHHH" about that whole exchange is realizing today that I could quit my fucking job. I could leave TODAY. I don't actually NEED the money.

someone asked me today what the partner does for a living, and I explained, and they went, "cool, does he like it?" and I said, "yeah, he LOVES his job" (because he does), and they just kind of laughed sadly and said, "yeah, well, who *doesn't*?" in that way that means, "no one actually loves their job, but bitches gotta eat."

and it was like.

well, shit.

He actually does.

I don't.

welp.

I bought $MidwinterHoliday gifts for people. Was amused to note that the order number for one of the online orders I put in was 4000. Never had that happen before :)

today is Friday the 13th and I'm setting up to make a flat aluminum cluster that has 13 Als, it's all good

Gigantic, anthropomorphic gray cat character...fine.

Naming him Heathcliff...NOT FINE.