A Scotrail @BahnAnsagen moment just now: “If you must use any of the toilets on this train, please be sure to differentiate between the flush, the “door open”, and the emergency alarm.”
"Flush" is fairly obvious as long as they close the toilet lid, but every intercity service this moose has used in the last decade(?) has had _someone_ press the "Alarm" instead of "Door Open" (assuming the toilets weren't locked out of service on the Virgin "Mobile Latrine" Pendolinos).