Just now: 355 words on my genderqueer femmeness essay. #amwriting
musing over gender identity foo
But somehow I don't want to go back to my old non-genderqueer identity.
And I don't want to "not be different". In fact, I seem to be seeking out the non-normative time and again, as if I needed it.
I feel like there's a big healing process still ahead of me, and I wonder what a more whole, less wounded version and defensive of my femmeness would look like.
musing over gender identity foo
I realized that my femme identity arose out of a feeling that my gender identity has been broken multiple times and I somehow put it back together.
I still feel like being genderqueer is something that I haven't fully grown into.
There is also that fear that I'm just making it all up, like cishets wanting to tell me that I'm not so different after all.
If there wasn't that feeling of brokenness, would I feel more at ease with the term "woman"?
602 words on my genderqueer femmeness essay today. #amwriting
Wohnungssuche in Berlin, boosts +
Ich hab das zwar schon auf meinem englischen Account gefragt, aber eigentlich macht es in dieser Sprache mehr Sinn.
Ich habe eine Zusage für eine Stelle in Berlin bekommen und bin darüber grade sehr glücklich.
Das einzige Problem ist, das ich jetzt 1,5 Monate Zeit habe, um eine Wohnung für 2 Personen in Berlin zu finden.
Wenn wer etwas empfehlen kann/ vermietende oder Personen die nachmietende suchen kennt wäre ich für jeden Hinweis dankbar ^^
queer self-doubt, therapy
Facing my past again. The worst part is the internalized heteronormative voice that tried/still tries to tell me I'm making it all up. All the struggles that being a femme-loving goth femme brings.
Also, how do I convey the importance of queer identities to my straight therapist?
my day, small health complaint
I took a step I was afraid of and started the process of moving two of my non-breadwinning-related blogs to a different hoster. Decided to eventually move one two a new domain, but I'm postponing that until I have cone up with a cool name.
Then I had an intense rehearsal for an upcoming choir concert. I also have a slight cold, which makes me tired and headache-prone.
Now I'm keeping my bujo and I'm ready to chill out in bed with the cat.
Good night, fediverse!
Today is #InternationalDayofDisabilities and I'd like to show off my hearing aids once again.
Without them I'm a poorly concentrated, tired and grumpy person. With them I can talk and work for hours, I can listen and be in noisy environments without getting exhausted.
Hearing loss is an invisible disability. You can't tell that I'm hearing impaired from looking at me, because my hearing aids are often hidden by my hair or simply hard to spot behind my ears. That also makes it harder to have my needs met. Even with hearing aids I need that people look at me and speak clearly when they're talking to me.
I often feel like I'm an imposter when I call myself disabled, but the alternative is to pretend I have a normal hearing and stop functioning in everyday life. I'm beyond happy and grateful that I live in a country where I get hearing aids for free and where I have rights both as a disabled student and in the workplace.
And here are my tiny, wonderful hearing aids 💞
I'm thinking about a new name for a blog I have been keeping for a long long time, but haven't updated in the past two years, going on three years.
I don't want to delete all the old content, the oldest posts date back to 2008 or 2009... I'm a different person now, but all I want is a new name for it.
It doesn't have a specific topic; it's been my personal mixed bag of whatever I wanted to share with the internet.
I'll think about this for a bit while I take care of more urgent matters...
OK, work was done. Now I'm hanging out on sewing supply websites leasurely surfing for the perfect classical choir gig dress.
That dress would have a very specific aesthetic and it's surprisingly hard to find a dress that combines all the things. Starting with it being cut in a way that I can wear a bra with normal shoulder straps because there's no way I'm going to sing in a strapless bra, even if I could find one in my size.
The Wandering Shop is a Mastodon instance initially geared for the science fiction and fantasy community but open to anyone. We want our 'local' timeline to have the feel of a coffee shop at a good convention: tables full of friendly conversation on a wide variety of topics. We welcome everyone who wants to participate, so long as you're willing to abide by our code of conduct.