The birbsite has just informed me that Santa in "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" is in fact the narrator's father in a santa suit and not Actual Santa and I can't handle this.
@Annalee But if all the kids were supposed to be in bed (as the narrator clearly was supposed to be) why would Daddy have to disguise himself as Santa? I think it's more likely that Mommy is actually married to a man who is secretly the Actual Santa.
@ann_leckie @Annalee I always assumed the family was relatively poor and Daddy was coming home from his second job as Department Store Santa.
@q_aurelius @Annalee ah that makes more sense than my initial bewildered assumption that Daddy had dressed up as Santa so that he could put the presents under the tree while the kids were still (presumably) in bed. Or WHAT IF...
@ann_leckie @Annalee @q_aurelius
Parent dressing as Santa for the sole purpose of moving presents around is a Christmas trope. He knows the kid is waiting up and wants to make them believe a little longer
@DialMforMara @q_aurelius @Annalee Well, sure, it's a well-worn trope. But it doesn't make actual, real life sense. (Also I am suppressing a rant about how fucked up it is to be so invested in your kids believing this that you'd go to such lengths to continue to deceive them).
@ann_leckie @Annalee @q_aurelius
My favorite Santa-ing method is the story I read about how, when your kid gets old enough to doubt, take them out to lunch and tell them Santa is a title that anyone can earn by giving kind anonymous gifts, and then give your kid am opportunity to become a Santa.
It's a very Jewish sentiment actually. Anonymous giving is the highest form of tzedakah.
@DialMforMara @q_aurelius @Annalee If you're goign to do Santa Is Real, that's the best way to do it, IMO.
@Annalee @q_aurelius @DialMforMara I seriously have to bite my tongue at some of the anxiety over the prospect of kids Finding Out. Families do what works for them, right? But, I mean, I like this way much better.
@Annalee @q_aurelius @DialMforMara (Clarifying, the kids knew "presents from Cthulhu" was a game as well)
@DialMforMara @q_aurelius @Annalee I had a felt and fiberfill squid with pockets in the tentacles that I made for an "8 days before Christmas" kind of advent calendar. This year I decided it was dusty and took up room and the kids were pretty grown up so I said "how about we ditch the Xmas squid?" the answer was "cool but can we still have the candy every day."
@ann_leckie @Annalee @q_aurelius
Best answer
@ann_leckie I'm so delighted by the existence of an Xmas squid, though. Candy and little gifts in tentacles! I may need to borrow this idea, though I haven't got any kids...
@cislyn @ann_leckie me too! all hail the Christmas Squid!
@ann_leckie @Annalee @q_aurelius @DialMforMara Yeah, we never did Santa here; presents were from people. Stockings were from unidentified people. Certainly doesn't seem to have decreased the specialness of the occasion.
@gannet @DialMforMara @q_aurelius @Annalee My mom would jokingly mark at least 1 present per kid as from "Dr and Mrs Claus." We never did stockings. We *did* do candy or small things for St Nicks on the 5th. In our snowboots when I was a kid, on our regular placemat on the kitchen table when I was older & it snowed much less. It was always clearly Mom doing that.
@ann_leckie @Annalee @q_aurelius @gannet
My partner's mom always marks some presents as being from Santa, or one or another of the reindeer, and others as being from her. Cheesy, but at the first Christmas I spent with them it made me feel welcome.
Meanwhile my family has a joke about a mixed Jewish/Protestant family that celebrates Hanukkah as if it were 8 days of Christmas, with a "Hanukkah bush" etc.
@gannet @q_aurelius @Annalee @ann_leckie
I should add that Hanukkah is a minor holiday on the Jewish liturgical calendar that celebrates a military victory. Its proximity to Christmas has blown it out of proportion.
@DialMforMara We brought the baby to Spouse's synagogue for naming, and I was put on the spot by the rabbi, having to explain to everyone that he was explicitly named after St. Nikolaos of Myra
@q_aurelius @DialMforMara I’m getting something like deja vu, because I just started reading the Anita Blake series and there’s a quite frightening character named Nikolai’s in the first book.
@phildini @DialMforMara Was he named after St. Nick too?
@q_aurelius @DialMforMara the character in the Anita Blake books is a thousand-year-old vampire girl.
@phildini @DialMforMara We wanted a name that had history to it. We chose it because it's ancient Greek and was popularized by a man revered for generosity and serving the poor rather than military victories or some gruesome martyrdom.
His middle name is hebrew, but I won't give that here. There are enough Nick Harrises out there to keep him anonymous.
@q_aurelius @phildini He'll never go into a toy store and wonder "where's the bicycle license plate with my name on it?"
I just googled my first and last name and learned that I am three of the first four hits. Two of them are grad school accomplishments, but I feel like I need to use this fact in some way that will make me more employable.
@DialMforMara @phildini Googling spouse's name does not produce anyone else.
For me there are hundreds of hits - none me. If you include my middle initial, probably half of them are me.
@DialMforMara @phildini I wanted something more unique, but we couldn't agree on anything. We settled on something not currently popular.
@gannet @DialMforMara @q_aurelius @Annalee @ann_leckie Santa had my mom's highly distinctive handwriting so even when I was oblivious as rocks I figured out the "secret" pretty quick. And yeah, didn't seem to add to the "magic" for my younger sibling who couldn't read.
@xiombarg @Annalee @q_aurelius @DialMforMara @gannet To be entirely honest I don't understand what "magic" it's supposed to add. Or, more specifically I have a rather cynical view of what its appeal is, but that's me, and like I said, families do what works for them & don't need to care about my opinion of it.
@ann_leckie @gannet @q_aurelius @Annalee @xiombarg
Santa is meant to convince people that life doesn't suck and that capitalism isn't bad. Got any historical thoughts about when that really started backfiring? Mid-2000s?
@xiombarg @Annalee @q_aurelius @gannet @ann_leckie
I mean, definitely important to believe life doesn't suck quite as much as you think as does, but...
@DialMforMara @ann_leckie @gannet @q_aurelius @Annalee @xiombarg
It was the mid-1990s for me, but I worked as a supermarket janitor in high school and college and was thus subjected to shitty Christmas muzak, garish holiday displays, and bored children with stage-4 mommylookits shrieking to get their frazzled parents' attention.
@DialMforMara @Annalee @q_aurelius @gannet @ann_leckie Arguably backfires anytime things are bad for a family, so generally during any economic downurn. "Why didn't Santa bring me any presents this year?"
@xiombarg @ann_leckie @gannet @q_aurelius @Annalee
Indeed. "Santa didn't bring you any presents because he's a lie rich people tell to control poor people" doesn't sit well with most kids.
@Annalee @q_aurelius @gannet @ann_leckie @xiombarg
Santa is the avatar of the capitalistic association of wealth with virtue.
... I should leave this conversation and go to work before I actually get mad about this...
@DialMforMara @ann_leckie @gannet @q_aurelius @Annalee I wish Property Gospel peeps attributed their nonsense to Santa rather than the Bible.
@xiombarg @Annalee @q_aurelius @gannet @ann_leckie
I mean, the original St. Nicholas doesn't deserve it any more than "canon Jesus" does
@DialMforMara @ann_leckie @gannet @q_aurelius @Annalee Eh, I'm divorcing Santa from Saint Nick pretty strongly here. The association is so weak in a lot of people's minds.
Tangentially, now i want to write an alt history story with the Prosperty Gospel Santa cult who attack Saint Nicholas as "Catholic propaganda."
@xiombarg @gannet @q_aurelius @Annalee @DialMforMara I can't shake the thought of first hearing MST3K joking about the Santa Claus movie, "Santa's laughter mocks the poor" and going "yeah, basically."
@ann_leckie @gannet @DialMforMara @q_aurelius @Annalee At least most Santa stuff is much more harmless than the panoptic stylings of "Elf on a Shelf."
"Okay, kid, here's a physical manifestation of Santa watching you, that you're supposed to love and name but not touch. Be seeing you!" <gesture from The Prisoner>
@xiombarg I think it's a bit disingenuous to assume kids really accept the magic of an elf that comes from a store (or Santa for that matter if you're raising them right). My daughter set up an ipad surveillance camera to prove I was the one moving it. I'm so glad they believe in mischief but not magic.
@mattamatic @xiombarg
Mischief is sometimes the best kind of magic. "I solemnly swear I am up to no good"
@mattamatic Depends on the kid, I think. I knew kids that believed those sorts of lies for a very long time.
I do think Internet access is likely to destroy this sort of parental myth-making.
More importantly, you have a smart kid and that's awesome. :)
@xiombarg @Annalee @q_aurelius @gannet @ann_leckie
Traumatizing children into behaving is a Puritan value. As is the equation of economic output and moral rectitude.
And like buckled hats and oppression of indigenous peoples, to bring this back to a more imminent holiday, they need to stop.
@ann_leckie @gannet @DialMforMara @Annalee @xiombarg My mom sat us down in 1990 and said "There is no such thing as Santa. I paid for the Sega Genesis. You need to be grateful."
How's that for cynical?
@DialMforMara @ann_leckie @gannet @Annalee @q_aurelius There IS such a thing as going too far in the other direction. :)
@q_aurelius @xiombarg @Annalee @DialMforMara @gannet well, yeah, "You need to be grateful" is maybe more than just cynical and over into dreadful.
@DialMforMara @q_aurelius @Annalee In our house, it was "St Nicholas was a real person who Santa Claus is based on/a version of. Santa is Real is a game some families play." The kids got presents from Cthulhu instead. Which reminds me I need to get candy for the Christmas Squid.