my name is Andrea
i was born to a great time
my age is so bad omg
i like to be the best friend of the world
---
RT @soulpunkps@twitter.com
my name is Eve
I was born in the UK
my age is a bit more than I expected
I like to see whales

(im crying wow)
twitter.com/soulpunkps/status/

Listen y’all know I love Nike but I’m struggling to think of features for my shoes that could be updated with software
---
RT @WIRED@twitter.com
Behold Nike's Adapt BB self-lacing shoe. This isn't Nike's first self-lacing shoe, but it is its first connected shoe. Because it works with an app, Nike can update the shoe's features over time—like an operating system. They go on sale tomorrow for $350 wired.trib.al/QXBOH0W
twitter.com/WIRED/status/10966

I WISH I HAD LEARNED THIS FIFTEEN YEARS AGO OMG
---
RT @brillntknitwit@twitter.com
@GammaGuts @ChuckWendig Tangentially, the most important lesson I ever learned from drag queens:

。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆ 
Use a piece of bread to pick up spilled glitter.
。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆

It even works on leather and suede.
twitter.com/brillntknitwit/sta

Um, does a very healthy person have an annual physical that takes four hours and involves eleven specialists? O_o
---
RT @Bencjacobs@twitter.com
In an initial memo, the doctor who did Trump's physical today says:

I am happy to announce the President of the United States in in very good health and i anticipate he will remain so for the duration of his Presidency and beyond
twitter.com/Bencjacobs/status/

Which is how I wound up in the papers with no running water in my house, no showers for three days, having spent the morning kicking sewage out of my crawl space, and look you’re just glad you couldn’t smell me

I really don’t see how this could be anything BUT price fixing
---
RT @busbyj2@twitter.com
So tell me drug makers, what's the rationale for these insulin price increases? businessinsider.com/insulin-pr
twitter.com/busbyj2/status/109

The National Popular Vote Compact is 64% of the way there now, and it’s going to change everything
---
RT @thehill@twitter.com
Colorado Senate passes bill that seeks to have presidential elections decided by popular vote, not Electoral College hill.cm/vNi3m88
twitter.com/thehill/status/109

Whatcha got in your pockets, Mikey?
---
RT @thehill@twitter.com
Michael Bloomberg on Medicare for all: "You could never afford that." hill.cm/9zEWhjK
twitter.com/thehill/status/109

New security patch for iOS dropping in 3... 2...
---
RT @backlon@twitter.com
We have also replicated this FaceTime bug that lets you listen remotely — and also replicated something else: if the recipient his the power button to dismiss you call, it sends video. theverge.com/2019/1/28/1820138
twitter.com/backlon/status/109

Gather round, my children, it’s time for the tale of the spooky haunted traffic light

OxyContin’s false marketing as a 12-hour drug caused high/withdrawal cycles that created addiction. They didn’t want to admit it was an 8-hour drug and insisted patients should just take higher and higher doses. latimes.com/projects/oxycontin

About time justice was done.
---
RT @CBSNews@twitter.com
Family behind OxyContin maker engineered opioid crisis, Massachusetts AG says cbsn.ws/2DzpuPQ
twitter.com/CBSNews/status/108

If what you were missing today was a bunny having a complicated set of emotions, I am here for you

There are 14 Oz books, Ozma is way more awesome than Dorothy, and I am still a little frightened of the Nome King
---
RT @MapPornTweet@twitter.com
The Land of Oz, from the book Tik-Tok of Oz, published in 1914 redd.it/agrbhk
twitter.com/MapPornTweet/statu

Finally set up the humidifier today. Can’t wait to blame Helen of Troy for my water-damaged property...?
---
RT @andrhia@twitter.com
I... I guess this is fair enough

Or mayhap the fairest of them all
twitter.com/andrhia/status/107

Wait why does Thor have pips on his costume like he’s a goddamn domino
---
RT @MichelFiffe@twitter.com
Hadn't seen this sketch before. Miller only drew Thor one other time. Conversely, Simonson drew DD once.
twitter.com/MichelFiffe/status

OK now how about all the women outside of the campaign, too
---
RT @JonathanTamari@twitter.com
Bernie: “To the women in our campaign who were harassed or mistreated, I apologize”
twitter.com/JonathanTamari/sta

This is fine.
---
RT @thehill@twitter.com
FDA says routine food inspections stopped because of shutdown, raising health concerns hill.cm/ubPj204
twitter.com/thehill/status/108

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