I'll tell you something: that haircut and coat don't look like a girl who struggles 💅
SCHUMER: “This temper tantrum that he seems to throw will not get him his wall.”
Twitter is such a community of enablers
If you go to the gym after dinner, is it OK to change into your PJs for the ride home
YOU GUYS YOU GUYS I just figured something out and you're never gonna believe it
Writing is hard :(
Ahhhh that glorious feeling when you find the notebook page where all your characters' last names are listed
Marry You by Bruno Mars is a Christmas song, fight me
It is so charming how among a large enough group of seventh grade boys, some could go all 21 Jump Street back to the 3rd grade and some could convincingly impersonate middle managers
IMPORTANT DAN QUAYLE UPDATE
@andrhia I read in Vanity Fair once that his wife Marilyn was the real VP. Her office was bigger and everything he wrote or decided had to be checked by her before it was released or acted on.
To this day, I think about Dan Quayle every time I write the word "potato"
I have questions
Ah, to be in a more innocent age when you might name as your person of the year a woman who had a real fancy wedding
Time will announce "Person of the Year" tomorrow. Here's the shortlist: https://on.today.com/2B7SZWr
Gooooood morning! I’m super close to finishing writing a book and I... I think I’ve run out of procrastination techniques...