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Andrea Phillips

I'll tell you something: that haircut and coat don't look like a girl who struggles 💅
SCHUMER: “This temper tantrum that he seems to throw will not get him his wall.”

Twitter is such a community of enablers

If you go to the gym after dinner, is it OK to change into your PJs for the ride home

YOU GUYS YOU GUYS I just figured something out and you're never gonna believe it

Writing is hard :(

Ahhhh that glorious feeling when you find the notebook page where all your characters' last names are listed

Marry You by Bruno Mars is a Christmas song, fight me

It is so charming how among a large enough group of seventh grade boys, some could go all 21 Jump Street back to the 3rd grade and some could convincingly impersonate middle managers

I want a new PS4 game franchise to come out that I love as much as Dragon Age or HZD

@andrhia I read in Vanity Fair once that his wife Marilyn was the real VP. Her office was bigger and everything he wrote or decided had to be checked by her before it was released or acted on.

I wish for scientists to discover that buffalo sauce is super duper healthy for you

I wish for parasols to be the hot new accessory (so I'm finally not a weirdo for using one around town)

OMG and I want MANDARINQUATS to be everywhere or at least somewhere so I can eat them again those things are TASTY

I want the new food fashion to be fancy-ass gelatin molds with crushed pineapple and maraschino cherries in them

Also I want flares and chunky shoes to come all the way back in style, fight me

Here's my first one: I want MC Hammer to become famous again

Coming toward the end of the year, solLet's start collecting a list of things we want to see happen next year:

Please no politics or violence on anyone, let's keep it light 😇

To this day, I think about Dan Quayle every time I write the word "potato"

Ah, to be in a more innocent age when you might name as your person of the year a woman who had a real fancy wedding
Time will announce "Person of the Year" tomorrow. Here's the shortlist:

Gooooood morning! I’m super close to finishing writing a book and I... I think I’ve run out of procrastination techniques...