Alina Sichevaya @alina_sichevaya@wandering.shop

coming back to mastodon after six months is a weird time

also, i decided that my reward for every three chapters i review is reading a chapter of WALKAWAY, but it was maybe not the best idea because it's just making me argue with my notes instead of studying

econ studying has driven me so far up the wall that instead of actually working im staring at practice question thinking abt s short story about a sentient market that tries to internalize its externalities and make everyone involved happy and safe, but it tries to do this on its own w/o collaboration and finds it really painful

it won't be a happy story i think
there is no market happiness, there's only less painful equilibria

for all that my school is awful at addressing mental health, the fact that a therapy dog walked up to me for pats while i was studying today i was 10/10 real good

any time i find a new work by an nb author i add the link to a google doc because most days i still really need reassurance that i can succeed as an agender/nb person

this is what happens when you grow up w/o any examples of people like you...anywhere...at all

today we had to read our flash pieces to the class in creative writing and mine was about the reptilian conspiracy and my friend said "it felt like getting rickrolled" so i think i did an ok job

i have started making more flash fiction simply because the comfort of knowing that i am capable of finishing SOMETHING, ANYTHING while also being a college student is....super necessary

i went to muji for the first time ever this weekend and i feel like a new person now

time to look at cat videos until i forget what i just did

there is a longer and nicer-sounding way to explain this but BASICALLY there is a Discussion on the birdsite right now about standing up for they/them pronouns and nb/non-cis voices in general and it's kind of made me feel a tiny bit more confident about how my own identity might be received SO

i am keeping it confined to mastodon for now but this is where i let everyone here know that i now use they/them or she/her pronouns but pretty heavily prefer they/them

is there a way to confine a post to just the local timeline as opposed to the local AND federated one

oh boy i love that when i use they/them pronouns in a story i feel so stressed about it that i compulsively copy edit each sentence to make sure it's PERFECT before i move to the next one because i'm scared of getting shit for it otherwise (just kidding i don't love it i'm terrified to finish and revise this piece) (and yes i know that the large majority of The Community that i interact with is nice abt this but the anxiety is still so Real)

what if i tested out new pronouns on the floofy elephant site to see how they go over with other people before i made the Big Decision to migrate them to the Big Scary Birdsite

i am halfway through THE BROKEN KINGDOMS and i am more convinced than ever that every god is queer, esp. sieh, i love everything about these books they are like if the silmarillion was actually fun to read and also less of a problematic mess

this is my baby, her name is sonya and she does not appreciate being woken
https://wandering.shop/media/zJ_IkA6Eq7JMUuK6gCw

i have done both presentations and a chapter of econ work and i am about to finish reading the rest of my 100 pages before i pass out

i will pack tomorrow and finish the essay tomorrow along with my to do list for the day

you know it's finals when you set an alarm for 5am to get things done even when you don't have class until 11am

the one thing i definitively love about doing my econ degree is the story ideas i get from it
megacorporations in space, complete with asteroid mining company towns? yes
a sentient market that tries to set prices and optimize itself to account for externalities (The Benevolent Market, maybe? i really wanna write this one) sure!

the econ major is fun 2% of the time

does anyone else have this thing where they are scared of their own projects and what they could potentially produce with the part of their brain that makes words or is that just me