Pete Bleackley @PeteBleackley@wandering.shop

Politicians believe that if they leave inconvenient facts under the pillow, the Truth Fairy will take them away and give them power.

The Truth Fairy is often depicted as a wizened old man called Rupert.

Moral progress is impossible in a society that habitually frames ethical questions as zero-sum trolley problems.

Bleackley's Corollary to Clarke's Law

Even in a work based on Sufficiently Advanced Technology, sufficiently bad writing will break suspension of disbelief.

I've decided to appoint myself to the position of the Prime Minister's Ethics Advisor.

Resign, you corrupt bastard.

My client has given everybody Monday off for Juneteenth. The loss of a day's earnings is a bit inconvenient for me, but I'd find it all very commendable, but for the fact that we're based in the UK.

I'd suggest deporting Boris to Rwanda, but they've suffered enough.

Æ

The archetypal witch's hat is a style of hat that was popular in the 17th Century, at about the same time as witch-hunting took off.

Noone's allowed on the sofa but me;
I am the lord of the damn settee.

If Proust had been obsessed with bread and butter pudding rather than madeleines, it would have been

À la Recherche du Pain Perdu.

The Second Amendment is phrased not to create a right to bear arms, but to safeguard one that is presumed to already exist. But what if we assert that it is based on false premises? No such right exists, and the whole thing is null and void.

The Prime Minister insists that he was not aware of any rules being broken at Downing Street during lockdown, because he was always too plastered to remember it the next morning.

Be careful with libfixes and homophony.

A scandal about a well-known businessman exposing himself should not be called "Elongate".

Whenever I see anti-WFH headlines in the right-wing press, I think

"But think of the poor corporate landlords. Some of them are down to their last billion! How can they keep up their party donations?"

Sometimes you think that the weekend has been swallowed up by odd jobs, and you haven't had a chance to relax.

And sometimes you go and film your son playing electric guitar in a subway.

If you're too easily distracted when working from home, you shouldn't be living and working in 10 Downing Street.

Ukraine are favourites to win this year's Eurovision Song Contest, with their song, "Fuck Off, Putin".

"M was a field agent during the Cold War. His undercover work in Czechoslovakia is still classified."

"We don't talk about Brno."

My wife said "Top Gear" when she meant "Top Gun". I now have terrifying visions of Jeremy Clarkson in a fighter plane.

The Tories and the SNP are symbiotic. The Tories need the SNP to deny the Labour Party seats in Scotland, and the SNP need the Tories to create resentment towards Westminster.