Doing #introductions again?
I'm currently going through a difficult time and appreciate support in any form. Please excuse the periodic promo toots as I genuinely need the money.
Hey, folks. Did you know you can purchase my self-published novelettes and novellas directly from me? You get great speculative fiction, I get paid immediately. Everybody wins! (But especially you because stories.) [This is also the only place you can find my self-published material for Kindle because I don't sell through Amazon for... reasons.]
So, I am currently unemployed (again) and in the middle of a second emergency move since the beginning of the year. I'm also broke and still dealing with my violent, stalkery soon-to-be ex husband.
If anyone can help me out with storage and transportation expenses I would be forever grateful.
mental health (+/-) Show more
Hello, Shop. It's been a minute since I stopped by.
Been doing all the right things to try and cope with massive anxiety - taking my meds, going to therapy, sleep, hydrate, eat. And it's still kept me from working for more than a handful of days out of the last four weeks. Which means I'm also stressed about finances again.
Still trudging along one day at a time.
[Anxiety is due to unstable/violent Husbad who has told the court I'm not allowed to divorce him.]
Welp. Tigger's foot is still healing. She's still doing well, but keeping a close eye on things because burns are nasty business.
A friend helped me move some stuff to storage as I attempt to make room/clean up at the house. One week to make the second move in six weeks.
Trying to figure out the utility situation as Husbad has decided not to pay the bills.
Making cheap nachos for dinner and taking a long nap because it's hard to breathe right now.
Oof. It's been a week.
First counseling appointment. Then one of the ninja babies gave me quite a scare by sticking on of her feet in a pot of boiling water which required taking time off work for so I could take her to the vet. [She's much better this morning but I was super-stressed about it because her whole leg was swollen and had evidence of burns.]
Going to try and move some stuff this weekend. And nap.
Be kind to yourselves, folks, even if no one else is.
Seems like the meds are starting to kick in. Wrote not one, but two, FB posts addressing allies who don't want to do the work, after a "friend" was exceedingly dismissive of my private warning that someone who was showing up in his comments had called me a liar when I first started talking about Husband's abuse.
They may have been all rambly nonsense [especially the second one which was realllllly long] but at least my brain is getting the urge to word again.
So. Today was better than yesterday. Still exhausted, but knowing I'm taking steps to seek healing helps.
And, had a breakthrough in realizing why I was so panicked/distressed about the stuff in court. Doesn't fix the fear or resolve the underlying problem but at least I know what I was reacting to.
May the rest of the week be restful for us. Be kind to yourselves and each other.
Emotional meltdown, healthcare, selfie/eye contact Show more
Today was a raw and rough day. I did my best with staying strong and speaking clear truth. Wore what made me feel good. And then this morning just melted down, ugly cried on the phone with work, screamed in my car, and now I'm sitting in the doctor's office hoping for a therapy referral or meds or something because I'm struggling not to cry about everything.
So here's a selfie from when I was feeling strong yesterday.
violence, court, spouse Show more
So, Husbad was indicted on the Domestic Assault charge last Wednesday and has arraignment this Friday.
Plus the Contempt charges being heard on Monday for the Circuit Court Order of Protection.
If you're familiar with DV and triggers for escalation...
I'm pretty fucking stressed right now.
[NOTE: Husbad is not living with us and shouldn't be aware of our current living situation. He's also lacking transportation. But the fear and stress is pretty intense right now.]
I wrote a little thread about the current housing and financial situation.
[Note that finances are stable right now, but very tight due to taking certain legal steps.]
Still trying to balance good options with knee-jerk reactions. But living in this cluttered home where 90% of the stuff belongs to Husbad... It's bad for my mental health.]
So, spending the weekend on setting up my own place, plus culling stuff I don't need. Writing lists, setting dates.
I hate organizing, but in this case it will help, not hurt.
Also realizing that my personal sanity is more dependent on me taking concrete steps rather than ensuring "safety". [Will still take steps to be safe, but obsessing over not being found is hurting me in a lot of ways. Confidence VS fear, I'd say.
But the former is HARD. Even when I know I'm making better choices.
Hoping to be settling into the new place by Valentine's Day. [Because Happy Fucking Take Care of Your Own Needs Day.] But focusing on the safety and prep of the move.
I really want to be able to take Monkey "home" and not have things still be in limbo, so there's some planning and coordination needed before we're completely settled it.
[Am getting a bunk bed from my Dad to convert to a loft so I don't have to keep sharing my immediate sleeping space but we can still fit in a loft apartment.]
This has been another rollercoaster of a week. [Have I mentioned how much I hate RL drama?]
But. I did a thing. And Monkey placed third in the "zone" spelling bee - which means he'll advance to the District Spelling Bee and he got a spiffy medal. Electricity is on at the new place, and I am going shopping with family friends to deal with some of the immediate needs tomorrow. Will also be culling and packing, moving small loads over the next week.
I write fiction of (and for) all sorts. Feminist. Mother. Creator. Survivor. She/her. Aries. Not as sweet as you think. Repped by Bob Mecoy.
The Wandering Shop is a Mastodon instance initially geared for the science fiction and fantasy community but open to anyone. We want our 'local' timeline to have the feel of a coffee shop at a good convention: tables full of friendly conversation on a wide variety of topics. We welcome everyone who wants to participate, so long as you're willing to abide by our code of conduct.